Some Thoughts about Anxiety

I’ve been watching a lot of shows on Netflix about hoarding and anxiety. I think a lot of people must struggle with keeping too many things and placing too much importance on things.  I was surprised to find so many shows about it!  The shows I’ve found so far are “Hoarders,” “Hoarding: Buried Alive,” “Obsessive” (it covers various types of anxiety), and “Clean House.”

Hoarding is often rooted in anxiety.  I struggle with anxiety, and I admit that sometimes it’s pretty hard for me to throw away or get rid of certain things.  For me it’s like things hold memories. . . they help me remember precious times of the past and give me something tangible to hold.  They help make those times more real and bring back emotions that I experienced back then.  Also, I really feel bad getting rid of something someone special has given me or even that belonged to someone special who is no longer alive.  Things are part of history and have stories to tell.  I have way too much clutter, but I praise God that I have grown and am learning to let go.

I have a  family member who hoards, and from seeing how watching those shows I’ve learned some about how difficult it can be to overcome it.  There isn’t a simple fix, but rather it takes a lot of work and help from a counselor can be crucial.  Things can really burden us so much.  They become special to us because we can hold on to them when people change and go away. . . they can become our security.

But the whole of idea of finding security in things is something that is just not real!  Things cannot give us true security.  Things are temporal — they are not lasting.  It reminds me of Matthew 6:19-21:

“Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moths and vermin destroy, and where thieves break in and steal. But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where moths and vermin do not destroy, and where thieves do not break in and steal. For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.”

I wrote the above quite awhile ago, a couple months ago maybe?  Anyway, I’ll go ahead and post it to keep record of how I was feeling at that time.  I haven’t been watching those shows lately. I’m not sure what happened, but I just quit!  Now I’ve been watching “Monk” on Netflix, a show about a detective with a whole lot of phobias.

I wanted to explain why I have a picture of the porta-potties in the picture for this post. In an episode of “Obsessive” the therapist had a lady with OCD go into a porta-potty and stand in there and experience her anxiety and then touch the dirty (really filthy-looking) seat to show her that she would be able to get through her anxiety and be fine afterward.   It sure made me cringe!  It’s an amazing concept, though. . . going through what makes you experience anxiety and seeing that you can indeed live through it and come out on the other side a stronger person!! ♥

I am so excited to tell you that I drove on the freeway the other day.  One of my fears is driving on the freeway, and my husband sat in the driver’s seat while I drove on the freeway for about ten minutes, and I got to where we were going!  I drove on an “easy” one, but it’s a step, and I’m really excited about it. :)

Peanut Butter and Jelly Muffins

Vegan Peanut Butter and Jelly Muffins

Vegan Peanut Butter and Jelly Muffin

My 10-year-old daughter and I made Peanut Butter and Jelly Muffins yesterday in honor of National Peanut Butter and Jelly day!  I based my recipe off of this one, but changed it quite a bit.  I do that a lot because 1) we are vegan and don’t eat animal products, 2) I like to make recipes healthier, and 3) it’s fun!

If you want a safe and tested recipe, I would encourage you to follow the link above and make your own substitutes.  If you would like to see my non-exact recipe to help give you some ideas of your own, feel free to read it below, but don’t get upset if it doesn’t turn out. ;)   It turned out well for me last night, but I didn’t write down the recipe while I was making it, and I need to test it again to make sure I’ve got the measurements correct.

Healthy Vegan Peanut Butter and Jelly Muffins

  • 2 cups whole wheat white flour (from Trader Joe’s)
  • 1/4 cup ground up raw pumpkin seeds
  • 1/4 cup almond meal (from Trader Joe’s)
  • 1/4 cup raw (turbinado) sugar (from Trader Joe’s)
  • 1/4 cup Herman sourdough starter
  • 1 tsp baking powder
  • 1 tsp baking soda
  • 1/4 tsp salt
  • 1 3/4 cups plain rice milk (approximate amount — add enough so batter isn’t too thick and not too thin; more on the thick side than on the thin side)
  • 1/2 cup peanut butter
  • egg substitute equivalent of 2 eggs = mix 6 tablespoons of water with 2 tablespoons of chia seeds and let sit a few minutes until jelled
  • 2 tablespoons organic virgin coconut oil (from Trader Joe’s) — melt on a stove on low before adding it to wet ingredients; coconut oil melts very easily
  • tablespoon of vinegar
  • Cooking spray
  • jam

Use two bowls — one bowl for the wet ingredients and one bowl for the dry ingredients.  Mix the dry ingredients in one bowl and the wet ingredients in the other (all wet ingredients except for vinegar — add that at the end after everything is mixed together).  Then pour the wet ingredients into the dry ingredients (or vice versa — whichever works best for you) and mix them together.  After it’s all been stirred together, then add and mix in the vinegar.

To put the batter in the muffin pans, I used a small ice cream scoop I got many years ago from Pampered Chef.  It’s half the size of a regular ice cream scoop.  With the small scoop I scooped one scoop of the batter in each muffin cup.  Then my daughter put 1/2 tsp of jelly in the center, and then I put another scoop of batter on top.  That way when it cooks, the jelly is in the middle of the muffin!

I also put a topping on our muffins.  For the topping, take a little peanut butter and mix it with a little turbinado sugar — maybe about 1 tablespoon peanut butter and 4 tablespoons sugar (you’ll probably need to experiment — I didn’t measure it out when I made so that is a guess).  Mix them until the mixture looks like little crumbs.  Then crumble a little bit on the top of each muffin.

Cook the muffins in the oven for about 20 minutes.  The other recipe said 20 minutes in a 400 degree oven.  I was afraid mine might burn, so I cooked them on 400 for about 15 minutes and then turned them down to 375 the rest of the time.  They turned out nice and golden and rose well.  Yum!  :) Makes 18 muffins.